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I met a guy...I think.
I exchange some info online for a hook-up. He instant messaged me back after I replied to his posting. The problem was that we were both unable to meet, so we could not do anything.
But we IM for two hours. He's 23, very cute, black, and seemingly sensible. We talked about our past (nonexistent) relationships and I was able to do some dirty talk, which I barely ever do (which is more fun than I ever would have thought - I am really starting to break out of some of my repression.)
So..we decided to some cam2cam. Well, he liked what he saw and I liked what I saw. Here's the thing..we can't really meetup until Fri. I was thinking of just getting my usual, but we've been IMing every day since. Well, now, we've developed a little banter, and I think it is pretty fun. I like talking with him, and he seems to like chatting with me. This is majorly critical, because whenever I meet a guy, they seem so uninterested in talking, so this is the most I've ever talked with a guy.
Usually, he will IM me and I just respond. Well, today, I IMed him while he was at work and he has not responded. I hope I did not get him into any trouble. He has responded in the past.
So, I am not sure. I might have screwed this over. What's worse is that based on our getting to know each other, I wad tossing the idea of actually going all the way with him. I'm not sure if that is going to happen.
How could I have ruined this? Uggghhhh. Now, I feel like Akemi whenever her heart gets broken....AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY TO FEEL ANYTHING FOR HIM!!!!!
Maybe, that resolves the idea I was tossing about. Oh well! (sighing)Current Mood:  flirty Current Music: "In My Arms" - Mylo |
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...so what kind of medicine do I want to practice? Granted third year of medical school has been just as demoralizing as every other year, but the past few rotations have been more uplifting than the others.
Pediatrics has been pretty awesome. I never saw myself as pediatrician, but I do have a little bit of "soft spot" for children and trying to help them deal with their diseases. For most cases, they are fairly healthy and can recover pretty well. But the most interesting area of pediatrics is adolescent development. Those kids are rife with problems about how they see themselves and how the choices that they have to make. It is pretty hard but interesting. However, I am not interested in becoming a full-time pediatrician.
I am now in my last week of family medicine. They are the most inspiring physicians out of them all. They deal with children, women - prenatal, postpartum, and general health maintenance, geriatrics, social/economic, psych - the full gamit. They also are some of the most knowledgeable and truly compassionate physicians. Out of all residents, they are so warm to their patients, most in tune, and amongst the smartest. I had always considered general practice, because they are the front-line physicians and are interested in community health management. I am still thinking about family medicine, now more than internal medicine. But I still am intrigued by physical medicine and rehab. Wow...I am almost a fourth year med student (crossing fingers).
Ruled out:
NEURO!!!
OB/GYN
SURGERY (I still haven't done it yet)
RULED IN:
FAMILY MED
INTERNAL MED
PM&R
ON THE FENCE:
PEDIATRICS!
And yes.....third-year is still like an overextended pre-medicated manic-depressive episode..
To be continued.....Current Music: The Ting Tings - "That's Not My Name" |
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I have not used this in so long. I guess I can try to update.
I am nearing the end of my third year of medical school and I don't know if that is good or not. I am not really enjoying medical school. It's weird. I find that learning is not a priority as much as scut work and test-taking. The whole learning process is inefficient and leaves me sort of jaded about the medical field. However, I have reaffirmed why I wanted to go into medicine: public health, medical education, and preventative care. I am fearful, because I don't know about my third year, such as how it will end, and where am I going to be in a little over a year. But I am just supposed to keep trucking along.
As I get older, a lot of my childhood issues are coming out. And I am realizing my life is forever going to be complicated.
oh wait...."best week ever" is on.
gotta goCurrent Mood:  contemplative |
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Dec. 21st, 2007 @ 12:56 am
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This year has been a really cool year for music to me. Even though, I have only about ten albums that I've been listening to all year, there have been many people who have made this year a year of music to remember. With that being said, I am listing my fave albums and the people who I've been listening to all year.
10. "Graduation" - With first song "Stronger", I became disappointed with Kanye West. He took an awesome Daft Punk and stripped it of what made it particularly special and delivering a medicore song at the same time. I didn't pay attention to Kanye until Jay decided to buy the album for me for my birthday. I actually listened to it before Thanksgiving. And I instantly remembered what made Kanye West so good to begin. Why I actually bought "The College Dropout". He is so adept at effectively sampling old school soul and artfully crafting these rally powerful songs. I was instantly remind why I liked listening to Kanye.
9. "Wincing the Night Away" - This is a really interesting choice, because I never have ever liked the Shins. Everything thing I heard of theirs for the past three years, I just could not get into. Enter Fall '06 and "Phantom Limb". I found a song of theirs I like. Then came "Turn on Me"....."Australia"...."Sleeping Lessons"......Well...I became a "Wincing..." fan. The Shins made an album I would buy. Wow!
8. "Finding Forever" - Common came back and came with a nice follow-up to "Be".
7. "We All Belong" - Dr. Dog has come along way since I've been in West Philly. Never would I imagine that I would pay to go see Dr. Dog in my hometown after seeing them in their element of Philly. "The Worst Trip", "Old News", "My Old Ways", "Ain't It Strange", "We All Belong" - all pretty awesome to hear. Now, I feel I can definitely carry West Philly with me wherever I go.
6. "Version" - Mark Ronson...recontextualing the Kaiser Chiefs, The Smiths, Coldplay, Radiohead, the only Britney Spears song worth its weight into late 60s R#B. I became a Mark Ronson convert after hearing "Stop Me" and "Oh My God". I was on my way to get the album when I heard "Valerie". Could not get to Good Records any faster.
5. "Kala" - M.I.A. has been MIA for two years and came back with good stuff. I haven't listened to "Arular" since I bought this album. Pretty awesome. I was not sure when I heard "Bird Flu". But "Boyz", "Jimmy", "Mango Pickle River", "20 Dollar" and "Come Around" make up for it. Only regret: studying for a really treacherous Cardio test the night she played at the House of Blues." Oh well.
4. "Back to Black" - I will have memories of studying Neuro in the libary day after day in March/April. Listening to Amy Winehouse decrying going to "Rehab" and trying to convince a lover that she is "No Good". But when I heard "Love Is a Losing Game"....I was definitely into her for the rest of '07.
3. "Still, Alright" - I remember seeing the name all over and thinking this chick can't be that good. I went to Philly for spring break and listened to this album while hanging out with Lee Green. I heard her "Smile", try to detox "Alfie", and scold her "[Window Shopping Nan]". Couldn't stop humming for some time. Lily Allen made a pretty consistent album of samples and ska. And I don't really even listen to ska.
2. "The Reminder" - I remember listening to a mix CD that Sona gave me before I left CHOP and Philly. Some songs I don't get into while others I do. I remember this one song with an oddball name: "Mushaboom". I just thought this is a pleasant song to listen to, and kept pushing repeat. But I didn't really pay attention to the name. Enter April 2007. I kept hearing about this song from some person name Feist. And the name stuck out to me but I didn't know why. I looked up the video for the new song "1234" and thought "Oh...the song's pretty catchy and the vid is nice". I then found another Feist song about a week later on "All Songs Considered" and played it. This song really hooked me in: "My Moon My Man". I thought that this song is really awesome. Wondered if there was a vid. There was. The vid seemed infinitely better to me than "1234", because I had dreamt of doing that several times before. I also had thoughs of breaking out while I was on one of those. Now, whenever I am on one, I think of the Feist video. In the corner of related videos, I saw "MUSHABOOM"!!!!!! I checked that video. Another awesome vid!!!! I had found someone who new the power of the music vid....not since Janet had I thought someone was so cool. Not forced yet really awesome. Bought the Reminder by mid-June. Never sat down and listened to the whole album at once.
Just "The Water" and "The Park". Then "Sealion" which I didn't take to instantly because just kept thinking Nina did it much cooler. Then "So Sorry", Then "Intuition", then "The Limit of Your Love"....then "Honey Honey".
1. "The Bird and the Bee" - I remember the moment I discovered them. I was listening to XPN while studying the kidney back in February. My car was in pretty bad shape and needed and engine repair. Just could not focus and needed someting easygoing. Then, I heard this song. Really ringing in my ear and pretty catchy. Impressed with the vocals...impressed with the production...impressed with the delivery. After I heard it, I waited for the page to update to see who was the artist. There it was: "La La La" - The Bird and the Bee. Tried to find an official webpage but got a myspace page. Found some other songs...previewed the album.....and downloaded off of iTunes. Listening it since..."Because...because....", "Fucking Boyfriend", "I Hate Camera", "Again and Again"...But the song I cannot turn off when it starts playing still is "La La La", probably my most fave song of the year from my most fave album..
Others to make the year:
Peter Bjorn and John - "Young Folks", "Amsterdam"
Grace Potter and the Nocturnals - "Nothing but the Water", "Ah Mary"
Robin Thicke - "Lost Without U", "Not Loving U", "I Wanna Love You Girl"
Fergie - "Fergalicious", "Glamorous"
Gwen Stefani - "Sweet Escape"
Fountains of Wayne - "Traffic and Weather"
4Hero - "Morning Child", "Look Inside"
T-Pain - "I'm A Flirt", "Buy U A Drank", "Bartender"
James Morrison - "Under the Influence"
Bright Eyes - "Soul Singer In A Session Band"
Corrine Bailey Rae - "I'd Like to", "Venus a Boy"
Bjork - "Earth Intruders"
The Decemberists - "When the War Came" (circa 2006)
Jamiroquai - "Runaway"
KT Tunstall - "Another Place to Fall", "Hold On"
Tracy Thorn - "It's All True", "Get Around to It"
LCD Soundsystem - "North American Scum"
The Arcade Fire - "No Cars Go"
Matt Kearney - "Nothing Left to Lose"
MIKA - "Grace Kelly", "Over My Shoulder"
Rob Thomas - "Little Wonders"
Lee Cabrera - "I Watch You"
Spoon - "The Underdog"
The White Stripes - "Icky Thump"
Timbaland - "Give It to Me", "The Way I Are"
Ne-Yo - "Because of You"
Maroon 5 - "Make Me Wonder"
Keyshia Cole - "Let It Go"
Musiq Soulchild - "B.U.D.D.Y."
Rihanna - "Umbrella", "Shut Up and Drive", "Don't Stop the Music"
Architecture in Helsinki/Dr. Dog cover - "Heart It Races"
Beirut - "Carousels", "Nantes"
Panda Bear - "Take Pills"
Justin Timberlake - "Until the End of Time"
Kate Nash - "Foundations", "Dickhead", "Mariella", "We Get On"
Kaiser Chiefs - "Oh My God", "Ruby"
Jose Gonzales - "Down the Line"
Jem - "I Wish"
Wilco - "Impossible Germany"
Tegan and Sara - "Back In My Head"
St. Vincent - "Now Now"
Justice - "D.A.N.C.E."
Rogue Wave - "Lake Michigan"
Flight of the Conchords" - "The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room"
The Smithereens - "Drown In My Own Tears"
Kylie - "2 Hearts"
Mary J. Blige - "Just Fine"
The Dream - "Falsetto"
Ryan Leslie - "Diamond Girl"
Cassie - "Is It You?"
Chrisette Michelle - "Best of Me"
Chrisette Michelle - "Be Ok"
Rhymefest and Kanye West - "Brand New"
Lupe Fiasco - "Superstar"
Janet - "Feedback"
Sara Bereilles - "Love Song"Current Mood:  cheerful Current Music: Kate Nash - Merry Happy |
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He's just so damn cute!!!
Oct. 31st, 2007 @ 06:08 pm
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| » Also..... |
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med school is also teaching me to get some balls.
Sep. 24th, 2007 @ 02:12 am
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| » It's been a long two weeks..... |
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I think it has been a long two weeks since I've returned from West Philly. What I've gone through is a slight depression in which I feel like I have missed my second family. It's been hard, because I've felt like I wanted to be back in Philadelphia and with my friends.
But what I have experienced is some new closeness to some present med school
friends and the realization that I can really build these relationships if I
just try. It's hard to be as a social as I would like to be and yet I am really social.
Whether it is with Lauren and Aaron at the West Village Starbucks, observing how trendy and pretentious most of the Uptown people are, hanging out with Dhriti and Chi in the library talking about classmates and guys, or going to the music store, Bill's, with Jay and Akemi, I find that I really am becoming a fixture with some of the people in my class.
I'm not close to everyone nor do am I really one of the most popular people in class, but I don't know if I care to be. I have more friends in the allied health school or medical illustration program. I just feel more comfortable around them and feel like I can be myself without being really pressured to feel like I have to prove being with people in my class.
This weekend is an awesome example. So, I actually celebrated my 26th birthday and received a really awesome surprise. Kim, Akemi, and Lahia organized an ol' skool skating party for me and quite a few people showed up. More than I expected. And a lot of people didn't come. But I was so surprised and so shocked. I also saw that some people sent me happy birthday greetings this weekend....people that I didn't think would remember or expect to remember...I thought Liz might have remembered ...and SHE DID!!!! WOW!!! Also,
Ish and Tasha sent me messages which were awesome. What I am realizing is that there may just some people who think I'm okay. I go through this every year but I think something new has come out of this.
I am learning to not be afraid to live my life. Just learn to live it. Be wise. Be cautious. Still plan to do what you want to do.....but live your life. I think my goal for the next year is to learn to live my life. Try not to find excuses to not do things and do them.
And to really know and accept who your friends are. Because they really matter most. I've known that for some time now, but I must keep reaffirming that.
Sep. 24th, 2007 @ 01:37 am
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| » Flip the scrip..... |
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So...I took some time to read my journal and reminisce. Nostalgia!!!
Thinking to call some people, email others, and write new updates, stories, and adventures in med school. There are aplenty!
But still thinkin' about West Philly...
Must...pull...myself...to go.....study......blaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Sep. 6th, 2007 @ 06:02 pm
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| » So, let's try to update this mother... |
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So, my summer is halfway over. It's been an interesting summer. Better yet, a busy one.
I'm spending the summer working with a cardiologist on a clinical database. It is a fairly low maintenance, low-stress job. I believe after the last few year to do something really low key.
This year, I've been catching up with former classmates who've come back to Dallas to visit. In January, Jed came back was pretty fun to hang out with. He has been working in the army since graduation and then went to Iraq as an Arabic translator. Now he's in Alaska, seeking his PhD. In May, I saw Claude who is writing scripts and freelancing magazines. And tonight, I saw Katherine Lehe who hasn't physically changed but is so much smarter than before (which is not difficult to believe). She is leaving for Berkley for law school. That is really good.
What else? I went down to Austin last weekend for Akemi's birthday. Went down with Trev and Lahia. That was pretty cool. More people were supposed to come down but backed out.
July looks pretty busy and I might have to go back to Philly before September.
Jul. 6th, 2007 @ 12:37 am
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| » I really need to update this thing. |
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It has almost been a year since I have checked into this place. I am very happy now. After a grueling year, I can say it is done. I have completed my first year. I am now a second year med student. I am very happy and apprehensive still. Don't know what I am going to do the next two months but I hope it will be a good relief. Will be checking in and updating more often.
May. 30th, 2007 @ 02:28 pm
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| » How much I am missing West Philly? |
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I realize that it has been ages since I’ve posted on this. But, I have spent the last several months enjoying my last few months in West Philly. I will miss that place so much. Every day of the summer, I spent thinking about all my favorites stops, habits, faces, landmarks of University City/West Philly area.
All the places that constantly meant to enjoy (the Mutter museum) and the events that I love (film festivals, Odunde, the Ritz, Penn’s landing). It’s so cool b/c I got a really cool sendoff from so many West Philly people that I never expected. And people who I never thought cared actually told me about how much they will miss me. I’m a little sad on the inside. I wish I could have gotten one of those shirts from Mia Lou’s b4 it went out of business.
Aug. 6th, 2006 @ 10:49 pm
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| » What a year! |
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I've not been thrilled by a year of music as 2006. From Phoenix to Snow Patrol, from the Brand New Heavies to Zero 7, from Nelly Furtado to Janet Jackson, I feel like I am on cloud nine. Whew!!!!
Jun. 27th, 2006 @ 03:29 pm
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| » She's Baaaaaaaaaaaaack! |
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The only woman who can make me squeal like a girl.
http://www.janet-jackson.com/
Apr. 24th, 2006 @ 07:11 pm
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| » Where will I be in the fall? |
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So as of now, I have managed my future school prsopects to two different schools. It will be UT Southwestern Medical Center versus Emory University School of Medicine. I haven't been able to make that final decision just yet. I have a great respect for both school and they are pretty much peer institutions. I am not too worried about the preparation that wither school will provide. As far as cost goes, tuition at UT will run from 8-10 K/year while Emory will cost between 35-40K/year. Easy choice, right?
Well, I am not in a rush to go back to Dallas (maybe almost any other major city in Texas). Anyone who has been a significant time living in Dallas will realize it is not necessarily the most thrilling city. However, the chance of living in Atlanta is something I cannot easily throw away.
So as more developments arise, I will try to keep report soon. One thing is for sure, I've been in a funk since January about leaving Philly. I've grown really attached to the city (especially West Philadelphia) and not too thrilled about leaving independent of my final destination.
Apr. 8th, 2006 @ 10:38 pm
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| » The Film Festival |
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So the Philly Film Fest has arrived. I have always been so happy for its arrival, but it has been a little somber this year. This will most probably ths last one I get to see. So it is a little sad. I am excited because two of my most favorite young actors will be featured in centerpiece screenings: Anthony Mackie (in "Half Nelson") and Gael Garcia Bernal (in "The King"). So far, there have been some interesting films.
One thing is that the festival is getting bigger. There are six venues and several sell-outs. This is the first year that I've ever pre-ordered tickets. That is really significant since I usually don't do that. If I hadn't done that this year, I would've missed about half of the movies I wanted to see.
Also, with a bigger attendance, I find some people to be really obnoxious and rude. Usually, the opportunity exists to participate in a Q&A session with filmmakers and casts after the viewing, but too many people think that they can talk loudly and disturb other audience members.
Anyway, I've looked up film festivals in Dallas, Austin, and Atlanta, and of course, none of the come close to the one in philly. I'm going to miss this Philly so much.
Apr. 8th, 2006 @ 10:26 pm
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| » Imogen Heap |
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Oh my God! I wish I had known that Imogen Heap was going to be at World Cafe Live today. I would have gone during lunch since it was not such a busy work day. It seems like it would have been so cool to see how she performs everything.
Feb. 10th, 2006 @ 08:36 pm
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| » How Ironic |
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How ironic that I just recently posted my most embarassing Sedaris moments on my myspace.com site and another one happens. So today, I am at Trader Joe's picking up a few things and listening to NPR. They are having one of their pledge drives and "This American Life" begins so obviously they are going to put on some of their funniest moments. They pull out all the stars: Sarah Vowell, Johnathan Goldstein, and of course, David Sedaris. In this story, he accounts his teacher's broken English and the lack of grammar among he and and his classmates to all give an classroom discussion about the purpose behind the Christian holidays. Now his teacher in pidgin English describes Christmas as the birth of the "boy who grows long hair and dies so he can climb over our heads and we live for all life". This is just the beginning. So of course, I'm cracking up. As I'm leaving, I turn the corner and not paying attention, there is this big accident that has happened. It looked like a car jumped a curb and crashed into the wall but landed on top of a pole on the driver's side. Now, I'm laughing before I turn the corner which is a full 15-20 feet before the corner, so I can't see anything. As I turn the corner, I'm cackling, my belly hurts, I'm tearing. And I just see a crowd of people. This lady turns to me almost in disgust and says "This is not funny. Someone could have been hurt" and just walks off in disgust. I look up and then see and then try to call the lady and apology b/c I didn't know anything about what happened and was laughing at something else.
Fortunately, this guy was understanding. He just said the whole thing was just really freaky and some people were a bit shaken. But only me, only I would get this. I should know that Sedaris mixed with public only breeds trouble.
Feb. 5th, 2006 @ 06:13 pm
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| » Still on Cloud Nine |
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Just still so f!@%$^g happy.
Feb. 5th, 2006 @ 05:51 pm
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| » February 1, 2005: A Day That Will Not Definitely Soon Forget |
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Tuesday/Wednesday is a time that I will not soon forget. Tuesday night, I went to NYC for my interview at of all places: Columbia. So, I'm really not sure what to expect and really want to know what the school has to offer me. After Penn, you start to worry about Ivy Leaguers, because you can find a lot of fake people among them, especially in science and pre-med classes. But the guys at the dorm were really friendly and really cool. I think that helped me feel more comfortable the night before my interview. Knowing that at midnight, all the U of Texas Medical Branch posts the results of the Medical School match (02/01/05). After talking to Liz for an hour, I wanted to get to bed. I thought that I shouldn't check the website until after my interview the next day. So, I just checked my email instead. Turns out that I received a congratulatory email from the dean of UT Southwestern. I read the email that welcomed me to the class of 2010 medical students. I was so happy that I checked the site anyway to make sure. It said the same thing. I called home, but it was too late. I called Karen Ruth and told her then told her to go back to sleep. Then I went to sleep. The next day, I had my Columbia interview. I really like the school, especially the philosophy that medicine goes far beyond science into the arts, into sports, music, theater, research, etc. So kickass. I loved it. I spoke to so many other students. I just liked the vibe so much. I was so happy.
Afterwards, I went to NYU to see Liz. She just finished a full day of classes, met me outside the medical center, and we went to go to her cultural show which was so much fun. I meet so many of her friends. As we were talking, I told Liz about my good news. She was so happy for me. Actually happier than me. So, when she introduced me to her friends, she kept bragging to them about me.
Such as,
Liz: This is my friend, Jeff. We went to undergrad together. He just received his first letter of acceptance.
Me: No, don't say that. (burying my face in my hands)
Friend (any person I met): Nice to meet you. Where?
Me: UT Southwestern.
Friend: So cool. Congratulations. Are you from Texas?
Me: Yes.
Liz: And he just finished interviewing with Columbia today.
Me: Liz...no..stop.
Friend: Wow!
Liz: Yeah. He applied to NYU, but never got an interview. Their loss.
Me: (sighs) Can we not talk about me anymore?
Liz: You need to be happier. I was screaming and yelling when I got my first acceptance
In all actuality, I'm the type that gets nervous and then gets happy much later. I get that from my mom, I guess. I shouldn't be surprised that she would brag. Since so many people at NYU are aware that I taught myself the dance routine to "If".
Then, I saw the cultural show. It was so much fun and so good. Afterwards, I hung out with Liz until it was time to go. I miss Liz so much. I would so love to go to Columbia. If I went to Tufts or Pitt, it could be feasible to visit Liz every so often. Oh well. I know I'm going to school. And Southwestern is definitely one of the best.
Feb. 3rd, 2006 @ 07:05 pm
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